Becoming a Mom Without Preconceptions

On February 6, 2010 · Leave a Comment

This is one thing that has really been nagging at the back of my mind. Obviously I wonder what kind of parent I will be, what do I want to be and how do I get there.

D and I have a dog, Coco. We have had her for about 3 years. Coco is scared of EVERYTHING. New shoes, chairs moving, noises, etc etc. To be good dog owners we have tried to help her out of this fear. One of the first things we learned was that if we think she will be afraid of it, chances are she will be. If we go into it as a clean slate usually things turn out better.

This is a lesson I want to take into parenting. So many times I catch myself saying or thinking things that haven’t come to be yet. For example, today at lunch someone was talking about his very active and unintentionally destructive grandchild. Trying to stay a part of the conversation I said. “That will be my child…ha ha”

What?

Why would I label my son like that. Sure he likes to bang stuff now, and he’s active now, he is a baby after all. Does that mean he will be destructive and uncontrollable. Nope! But there I go labeling him. What am I setting my son up for? He’s six months old. He can do and be anything. His life is a blank slate.

It’s not just me either. It’s human nature to compare and label. He’s just like so and so. Or, he’s going to be a handful. Or, you’re going to have trouble with that one…The list goes on and on.

This thinking and these labels change how I look at him, how I parent him and change how others see him. How much have I already set him up for.

I want to give him the best chance I can for him to be whoever he will turn out to be. I want to parent without preconceptions. At least I will give it 100%.

Little G is a happy, active little boy. This can mean he will be many many different things. Not just a handful and not just destructive.

Here’s to making a go of it without preconceptions!

What preconceptions do you put on your child? How does this change the way others see them? How many times do you “know” how they will react without ever giving them the chance.