I have reached the point where I see the reality of the world on my sweet little boy.
Things are changing, and they are changing fast. In some ways we’ve lived in a perfect little fantasy world up until this point.
Ok maybe not perfect in everyway. Sure there’s lots of tears and tantrums and even some issues with Little G himself, but overall things have been good. Little G has been good.
But Little G is growing up. In the last few weeks he’s been learning a fear of strangers. He’s starting to understand that there is a world outside himself and that it isn’t all good.
About a month ago I was privileged enough to be in the room while Little G was dreaming. He giggled his cute little baby giggle and gave a full on, completely asleep laugh. It was so adorable. This is forever etched in my mind.
2 nights ago, though, I had quite a different experience with Little G dreaming. This time he was crying. His sleep was disturbed, he was turning and moving all around, and during some of his moves he would let out a sad upset cry.It broke my heart and I wasn’t sure what to do. I tried making my presence in the room known, making noise while I was walking around, moving drawers etc. When that didn’t work, I tried rubbing his back and patting his head. Still that didn’t work.
Finally I picked him up and cuddled him, rocking side to side. I held him close to help him know he wasn’t alone. He didn’t wake up and after a bit wriggled enough to tell me he’d rather be lying down than in my arms. After I put him back down and covered him with the blanket, he slept better.
Slowly the reality of the harsh world is setting in. I won’t be able to protect him forever. But for now, I can still pick him up, cuddle him and let him know that it’s all ok.
I hope you find time today to cuddle the ones you love.