Poison Control Memories

Yesterday we had our first call to Poison Control. Yes I said first. Given my family history I’m sure we’ll be making more calls. When I was younger we had the Poison Control poster taped to the inside of one of the cabinets, “just in case.”

Let’s just start with the first time my parents had to call Poison Control. It was for me.

It’s 1983. My dad is sporting his permed afro-like hair and his way popular and way too short polyester shorts. Hey, it was in. Mom was out so that meant our favorite Daddy and me dinner, Mac n’ Cheese. And, we were going to eat it while watching TV. This was a rare treat.

It was my turn to put the “shaker cheese” on our dinner. Yum. We took our bowls in to the living room and settled into watch our show. I wouldn’t eat my dinner and dad couldn’t figure out why. After tasting it he realized the funky taste. He we through a couple of scenarios, spoiled milk in the dinner, being one of them. Nope, that wasn’t it.

He had me bring him the “shaker cheese”. Kraft cheese. Ok, all was well in that department.

Are you sure?

Next I brought him the actual culprit.

Yes don’t they look alike?

At this point my mother is arriving home to a neighbor who can’t stop laughing and a very cranky and angry husband.

Of course this is my mother’s fault, she left the container on the counter. Not my father’s fault who allowed a 3 year old to serve dinner…

That was not my mother’s opinion and she reminds him while laughing each time this gets brought up.

Poison Control was called for the first time.

We were all fine. Love My Carpet is only soap flakes.

To this day my father will not eat Parmesan cheese.

Have you made any calls to poison control?