Grace can be defined as “A temporary immunity or exemption; a reprieve.”  It is not something earned, but something given to another.  I have learned it is a difficult practice to employ, with others and with myself.

I have realized over the course of these past few months just how important grace is in my life in order to live more joyfully and less superficially.  For example: GRACE allows me to sleep at night knowing not all of my dishes are done, my stairs aren’t vacuumed, and there is laundry that needs to be washed and dried, but my occasionally-swollen feet and tired body needs to take precedence over the drive for a spotless house.  GRACE tells me it’s ok to tell others when I need a break or allow myself to ask for help when I just can’t do it all.  GRACE is looking in the mirror at my expanding and changing body and letting go of the societal drive to look perfect, knowing that what my body is doing now is WAY more impressive than running 13.1 miles in a little over 2 hours just 19 months ago.  And GRACE is turning my head away from the number on the scale when the doctor weighs me, knowing that those added pounds are going towards the benefit of my growing baby, and it’s just a number after all.

I have also learned the importance of giving grace to others during this time in my life.  To the patrons who give me dirty looks for the grilled cheese and french fries I just ordered at my favorite fast food restaurant.  To the stranger in the lobby who just informed me that I am “big” for having another 7 weeks to go before baby arrives.   To the unwelcome space interloper who instinctively reaches out and rubs my belly without asking.  And to the unsolicited advice-giver who unreservedly shares with me everything I’m doing “wrong” and the “right” way to do things, according to them.

It would be so easy for me to not afford grace to the individuals who say or do things during this time in my life that irritate, annoy or incense me .  I could blame it on the pregnancy hormones, the lack of sleep, or the occasional ache in my back, hips, and neck which make me cranky.  But I know I am a happier person because of the grace I have been given, and because of the grace I choose to give to others in situations where I’d rather respond with a sarcastic or witty comment.

Nothing about this journey is perfect, clear-cut, or even easy.  Sometimes I feel like Columbus on the high seas: navigating uncharted waters to an unknown land.  Regardless of whether it’s your first, second, third or fourth pregnancy, each journey is different and unique, and requires grace to complete.  The grace we give others, and sometimes more importantly, the grace we give ourselves allows us to move forward in life, not harboring resentment, ill-will or negativity from things past.  And that’s a mentality I am going to take with me through these next few weeks and into the all-new experience called Motherhood.

Because I’ve never done this before, and I’m bound to screw up many, many times.

I’ve asked my friends with children for some words of wisdom and encouragement that I can look back on when the going gets rough, when sleepless nights with a crying infant never seem to end and I am certain that I am just screwing everything up permanently.  Here were a few of my favorite words of wisdom:

“No guilt allowed.  It’s amazing what we can make ourselves feel guilty about and that’s without a new baby around.”

“Nobody knows what they’re doing as a first time Mom. But the good thing is most times you only have to convince your baby that you know what you’re doing and that’s fairly easy considering in some cases, they were literally born yesterday.”

And the one that inspired this post (from my sister-in-law, Kristin):
“The first few weeks are definitely the hardest. You are tired, everything is new, your body is healing, your time is no longer your own, your lifestyle greatly changes, you are learning the ins and outs of being a mom, etc. I really can’t say it enough, GIVE YOURSELF GRACE.”

Grace is an amazing thing we can give to ourselves and others as Moms, future Moms, and women in general.  It reminds us that no one is perfect, that no one has all of the answers, and that we need each other for support, comfort, guidance, and reassurance.

Columbus didn’t sail the rough seas alone, and neither should we.