Mama Knows Best

Funny how a little person can feel like such an overwhelming presence in one’s life.  I knew going into it that a baby was a lot of work, a lot of sacrifice, and a lot of joy.  I assumed like most new moms, I would muddle my way through and write my own “motherhood” story based on what worked for our family, and with a little help from friends, family, and the mom-recommended “how to” book.

Pretty much as soon as I got home with my little man, I started asking for advice.  I sent more Facebook messages in my first 2 weeks as a new mom than I had ever done before.  I had three separate baby sleep books.  I was searching blogs and online articles about when my baby should sleep, how much he should sleep, how much he should eat, increasing my breast milk supply, play time, tummy time, milestones he should be reaching, etc.

To be frank, it was OVERWHELMING.  Everyone had the answer, yet everyone’s answers were completely the opposite of someone else’s answer.  I felt doomed to failure if I couldn’t discern the “right” answer from the “wrong” one.  “This” had worked for one friend, while another friend did the opposite.  One book said he should be following “this” sleeping pattern, while another book gave me a completely different schedule.  Apparently 24 ounces is normal for a newborn to eat, so when mine started sucking down 28 ounces at 2 weeks, I was horrified I was setting him up for weight problems…

Everyone knew the right answer, but no one answer was cohesive with another.  My son was doomed by my incompetence.

And then I got the one piece of advice that was actually helpful, and I think it came from three different yet extremely trustworthy sources: my sister-in-law, my friend Jen, and my friend Amber.  What was that advice?

Well to put it in layman’s terms: “Mama knows best.”

No one knows your baby like you do.  Not your mom, your friends, your advice books or even the doctors.  NO ONE knows a baby the way their mother does.  Trust your instincts, trust your decisions, give yourself some room for error and realize that you’re not screwing them up for life at 2 weeks, 4 weeks or 6 weeks old.  Both of you are learning, and your baby trusts you implicitly, so give yourself some credit.

My little nugget is 6 weeks old on Saturday, and I’m so happy to say that we are understanding each other and I have gained tremendous confidence in knowing what he needs when he needs it, and how to calm him when he’s upset.  We’ve reached a point where he’s almost on a feeding schedule, and sleeping one long chunk of 5-6.5 hours at night, followed by another 3.5-4 hour stretch.

I’ve even determined that despite what the doctor’s (and numerous websites) had me believing, my baby does NOT have any allergies to milk, he does not have acid reflux, and I don’t have to adjust my diet or give him a prescription twice a day to make him a happy baby.

There is a TON of information out there, and a TON of advice (whether you ask for it or not).  And in the beginning, it’s scary and unknown and you want to rely on what those that have gone before you have done.  But I’ve learned in my short 6 weeks as the Mama of one super-awesome little boy that there is such a thing as a maternal instinct, and to learn to listen to it.  Because my boy isn’t the same as anyone else’s, and therefore our journey is entirely our own – one we forge together through trial and error, and a lot of trust, faith, love and forgiveness for each other.

And I’d say we’re doing pretty good.