Dan and I have two children. Two wonderful children. Sure, they are tough at times but then they give you a smile that lights up the world and all is well. Why not have more? Well, that’s a complicated question.

I’d love to have more children. I love the toddler years and to be honest I’m a little sad that they are coming to a close for us. But the idea of birthing more children, that’s really tough for me. Pregnancies were tough for me. With Big Brother I slept a lot and was sick for about 8 months. I lost quite a bit of weight, thankfully I had some extra to spare so danger there. One month of not feeling sick really isn’t enough though. With Little Sister there wasn’t really time to sleep and I was only sick for about 6 months, that was better, but no walk in the park.

Then came the deliveries. When Big Brother was born it was the most wonderful and flat out terrifying day of my life. Little Sister’s delivery was much less exciting but the fears and difficulties came after that. Had she been born in a different time or even at a hospital with different newborn screenings our life would have taken a completely different path. However that wasn’t the case and we are happy to say she is a completely healthy little girl. After her birth was one of the darkest times in my life. It was mild for me but postpartum depression is real and scary. So in the end, no, I don’t want to carry and birth more children.

I have however, always seen myself as someone who would adopt at some point in my life. The idea of helping to care for the world’s children that don’t have anyone  to care for them has always been in my heart.  I was sharing these thoughts with a friend of mine recently and she asked me a question I didn’t expect.

Is it fair for you to adopt children when there are couples out there who cannot have their own and you can? Just a thought.

(this was the idea, not word for word)

Honestly, this has never occurred to me. I have always assumed that there were lots of children in the world who needed a family. More than there are families to love them. But perhaps I am wrong. Is it fair? Am I taking something from these other couples?

  • jenthompson

    Your friend is probably right when it comes to traditional, domestic infant adoption. I recently saw a statistic (not sure how valid it is) that said for every infant adopted in the U.S. there are 30+ couples hoping to adopt. But there are so many different types of adoption. You could go on any state site and look see all of the many, many children waiting for homes. There are children across the world who need homes. There will always be children in need of a loving home!